Yes, I still love him so much. I haven’t forgot anything yet. It hurts everything that he does, he thinks, he says, he see. But, only with a few words of your mouth I’m so much better. I realize today that I can stop think about him. I can be happy with my hair, my cloth, my feet, my mouth, my face. I can be very good with only one breath full of yourself. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve been hurt everyday for a year, with screams, insults, curses, bad mood, pain, jealousy, and everything that make a relatioship goes down.
Our relationship has never begun. Not because of you, or because of anyone. We cannot start because I have fears. I still I’m fear of totally lost him. Even if I just do it and I do not realize it yet.
But, I have hope. With everything in this fucking world. I hope that I can love you. I hope that I can kiss him once more. I hope that I can take a secret. I hope that I won’t lose ANYBODY. I hope that this affaire will give me, more hope. I hope that I can be happy. And I hope, that I can still have my 8 babys with him. I don’t want you to feel pain. I think I love you. I think I have always loved you. But I don’t want to lose him.. Or her. I want this to be like in the movies. I want this to be perfect. It could be fast. It could be short. But it will be perfect. Because I like you. I care about you. I want to kiss you; touch you; feel every inch of your body, your face, your hands. I want you right now, every inch of you.
But I’m scared. Loose him is the horrible thing to me. Now. I don’t now how it is planned the future. I don’t believe in destiny, fate. I don’t blame the truth or the fear. Is interesting star again. Is amazing say that I do believe in love, and it is not for him. Is something new. It’s something about me, you and no one else. It’s great have this exciting feeling for you. I think it’s not fast, it’s real. It’s… I don’t know. But I like the idea of been happy, with no fault in my veins when I’m with you.
It’s weird, but at the end. It’s wonderfull to know, that I can love you. And I think that for a while; I’ll do it.